The myth that “marriages are made in heaven” still has a powerful impact on Indians, especially the women folk. India is among the few countries that practice arranged marriage in the world often by parents, of course nowadays with the consent of their children. The Indian youth still have faith in their parents and therefore allow their parents to think about and fix their marriage which they think will work well. Their parents’ long years of married life and experience are the foundation of this blind faith.
Cultural values often dictate the rules of the game…
In the west, they have the impression that Indian arranged marriages are marriages of convenience. The parents search for a bridegroom who would give their daughter a comfortable and financially stable life. Meanwhile, the husbands and wives stick to the marriage because they have no other option in life – whether economically or socially. Is this really the reason that in India divorces are still rare? If we judge this from the economical perspective then the answer is no. In this modern age, most of the Indian women take up a profession and are financially independent. The percentage of women depending financially on their husbands is negligible in modern India. Even my maid who earns a petty amount by working in two or three houses proudly says,” I can run my family without the help of my husband. If required I shall take up more work”. Yet she too is against divorce though her husband is a drunkard.
Now what makes us women pull on a relationship like marriage even after all odds? Is it the social stigma of being called a divorcee? That’s not the case. The main reason is that Indian women give more importance to relationships. As daughters we do not want to hurt our parents or put them into trouble. As daughter-in-laws we want to protect our husbands and in-laws’ dignity and prestige. The most sensitive status is motherhood and that is what stops us from breaking a marriage. No mother would want her child to be called a child from a broken family neither can she bear seeing her children suffering because of her decision to live a single life. Even after their children grow up, Indian parents especially the women see to it that their children never feel ashamed of them in any situation. We still have women in India who wait for their missing husbands lifelong without remarrying. This is because they give lots of importance to their marriage being mindful that he is the father of her children whose place she is not ready to give to another man.
We always put relationship sentiments before our own selfish interests and this is only the reason that divorces are still rare in India.
About the Author
Anindita Sengupta is an Indian based at Rourkela, Odisha. She is a volunteer who contributes to the Urunji blog. She loves writing and sharing ideas. Touched by this story? Please contact us for feedback.
